Being a caregiver to a family member or friend with dementia, memory loss, or Alzheimer’s is a difficult journey. As the symptoms of these diseases take their toll, it can be a daily struggle to connect with your loved one. When you are a dementia caregiver, knowledge and understanding of the disease are an essential part of self-care. Just as it is vital for you to understand the stages of dementia and the options for medications and treatments, it is also important for youto find new ways of connecting with your loved one.
Constructing New Roles
One of the hardest parts of a dementia caregiving role is the changing dynamic of the relationship, especially if you are caring for a parent. Someone who once helped you navigate all the challenges of life,now looks to you for direction. It can be helpful to change that narrative. Try and approach your loved one as a person who is simply in need of loving care; without attaching previous expectations to their reactions or behaviors.
Clear and Concise
Often, dementia patients also have other aging symptoms like hearing or eyesight loss that only compound their memory loss issues. Making sure that you are intentional with all of your communications can help relieve frustration and anxiety on both sides. Speak clearly and use visual aids to help them understand. In some instances, they may not be able to connect a specific word to meaning, but may react differently when shown a physical item.
The Here and Now
Moving your interactions fully into the present moment can often help create meaning for dementia patientsas it removes the need for short-term memory. Don’t ask how their morning was or what they had for lunch, instead ask about their present surroundings so they can use the cues currently around them. Questions such as “Does that blanket feel nice?” or “Isn’tthis a pretty flower?" allow your loved one to find the answer outside their own mind.
Also, it can be helpful to avoid asking open-ended questions. These questions require the person to use recall to contemplate their options. Instead, ask questions with concrete choices. “Do you want a sandwich or soup for lunch,” rather than, “What do you want for lunch?” Be intentional on word choice and limit the amount of taxation on their short-term memory or recall skills.
Finding Shared Moments
Depending on the type of dementia your loved one has been diagnosed withthey may still have a strong recall of their long-term memory. If this is the case, you can use your shared history to create moments of bonding. Reminiscence therapy draws on long-term memories and often uses physical items like photos or keepsakes to help the conversation along. Even small recollections can mean the world to both you and your loved one and go a long way in reinforcing your bonds.
Creating Space for Love
Finally, you can improve your connection by taking the time to disconnect. Being a dementia caregiver can be extremely trying. Don’t fault yourself if you get frustrated or burned out. Instead, find resources that can help you get the self-care time you need. Many memory care communities provide caregiver respite or have support groups for memory loss families and friends. This time away from each other can go a long way in helping alleviate tensions between you and your loved one.
As the disease progresses, you may find you need even more assistance in caregiving. Choosing the right memory care facility can be the first step to maintaining a loving connection and finding peace of mind. These communities specialize in dementia care and create a safe, comfortable environment that enables a better quality of life for memory care residents and their families.
It’s a Journey
Everyone with dementia moves through the stages of their symptoms differently. It can be a tough road to keep love and connection in a caregiver relationship. With the right communication tools and community resources, you can reviveyour connection with your loved one and take the dementia journey together.