Knowing when it's time to have a discussion about caregiving with a parent is hard. Whether your mom is scaring you when she drives or your dad no longer has the mobility to live alone in his home, you might be starting to worry. Asking if your parent or parents need help is not an easy conversation to have, especially with the people who once cared for you. However, these discussions are necessary, even critical to the safety of your parent.
Seeing the Signs
When a parent’s physical or mental health starts to decline, they lose the ability to care for themselves properly, and subsequently, their daily well-being is diminished. This decline can affect everyday life from attending social events to practicing proper hygiene. To keep the quality of life high for your loved one, it is important to start having conversations with them as soon as you see a decline, especially if you start to notice a significant cognitive decrease or symptoms of Alzheimer’s. It might be natural to try and ignore or explain away the signs, but in the end, facing up to the reality is the best thing to do for your family.
Understanding the Risks
To have these conversations, you first need to understand the types of risks your parent is prone to and what caregiving options are available. From familial caregiving and home health to independent apartments, assisted living, and memory care, there are lots of options. Your parent’s physician can help you assess what kind of care your parent will need going forward, whether they are a fall risk, need help with transportation, or have trouble completing many of the activities of daily living.
Choosing a Care Option
From there you can decide what plan of action is best for your family as a whole. Taking on caregiving roles for yourself can be a cost-effective option, but can put a strain on relationships. The caregiver burnout effect can be amplified if the parent has memory loss or becomes irritable. There are respite programs that help alleviate some of the pressure. However, these are temporary or short-term options.
Hiring a home health aide can also be an option for those seniors who do not need 24-hour assistance. The amount of care a home health aide can provide can vary significantly by area, and in-home licensed nursing care can be costly. However, many families find this an appealing choice for keeping a parent in their own home, longer.
Independent, Assisted, and Memory Care Communities
However, when it comes to the safety of an aging parent, sometimes there is a need for more comprehensive care. That is when independent, assisted, and memory care communities may start to make sense. Independent communities vary by the services provided, but they usually are active, social communities that can help with daily activities like laundry, housekeeping, and some meal preparation. Assisted living communities provide clinical services like hygiene and personal care services as well as more detailed or frequent housekeeping and cooking. Memory care communities provide all of these services as well, but also include secured premises, tailored memory programs and care, and often, round-the-clock nursing.
It's a Family Decision
The costs associated with in-home or community senior care can be drastic from city to city, state to state. It is best to do your homework about costs before you have the conversation with your parent. That way you can openly discuss what options are financially feasible. Involve them in the process to make sure they feel like they have a say in the direction of their life. A community tour and even overnight community stays are an excellent way for your family to assess whether or not assisted living care or a similar situation would be the right fit for your parent.
Have the Conversation
It's never easy to accept the changing roles of that come with being a part of the sandwich generation. However, for the safety and well-being of your parent and your peace of mind, it is best to have these conversations early. Taking action can help prevent a catastrophic fall or accident, and help your parent lead a happier, overall better quality of life.